Blistered Hands

my blistered hands
have forgotten what it felt like to
reach for something that isn't
running in the opposite direction

forgive me if i doubt your love
for i have never held something
that didn't slip through my fingers
whenever i looked away

every time i wake with
a kiss on my cheek and
my heart safely in your hands

you are giving me
a break from
reaching because
you are
always
right here

Square into a Circle

I fit into your world like a
square into a circle
and my edges are far too
sharp to go in easy.

Your life is fighting us
and you try to stay on my
side of the court,
but maybe its the
wrong side
and it’s not too late to
switch teams.

My white flag
is in my back pocket
and I will wave it
if you want me to.

Giving up is not in my nature,
but hurting you
goes against every
piece of me

and I get lost in your
eyes every time you
look at me.

This wasn’t supposed to be
this hard,
but my heart is
tangled in yours
like headphones we left in our book bag.

I will fight
with you
as long as you will let me,
but please let me know if
this gets too exhausting.

Giving up is not in my nature,
but hurting you
goes against every
piece of me.

Fireflies

Fireflies strobe through the streets
attracting seven year olds, convinced
their mothers will let them keep their
new captures, wishing to
replace their nightlights.

Like fireflies,
you appear as night
finds its strength,
your light radiating
and I reach out to
hold it between my
fingers, wishing to
replace my nightlight.

But,

like fireflies,
I cannot keep you in a
mason jar beside my bed.
Instead, I pray for you to
climb in next to me when
the night is much stronger
than I and the wind howls
at the full moon, sending
shivers down my shaken spine
with every slow tick of the clock.

Your light disappears into the
spaces between my fingers and
I long for your touch,

wishing

to see you again tomorrow.

 

I Don’t Know How (I Love You)

I sit here
searching for the words that will penetrate your heart, but
love poems remain on the
list of things I wish I was good at.
But
here I am, stringing together the
thoughts that have been
roaming my mind since my eyes first found
yours.

I spent most of my life
burying every fairy tale
ending of true
love’s kiss while
craving the touch that would send me into
space. There were
dungeons inside of me that I was sure
no one could bear.
You unlocked
the doors to my darkest rooms without
fearing the ghosts that
lingered.

Fast forward four years and
I can’t look into your eyes
without my heart reaching to
hold you.
Our futures tangled and knotted
together in our pockets.
There were no blueprints, no
outlines, but we can now see the yellow brick road
leading us to painting the walls in our
living room and filling
bookshelves and
photo albums and sleeping in
late because my arms
dread the emptiness that comes when
you are not near.

My imagination rewrites our
future as many times as it can,
outcomes so elaborate and
varying, but it can’t seem to
forget that your name is
written on the walls of my heart with
permanent marker.
With every beat, I am reminded that
you
will never
fade
away.